About Carol Bernhart Hypnotherapy
I show couples who truly love each other, but are stuck in a pattern of blame and criticism how to reconnect and deepen the love they once shared.
Carol Bernhart Hypnotherapy Description
I am passionate about helping people strengthen the relationships in their lives, because I understand how difficult life can be without them. Not that I have never had relationships; I have an awesome family who loves me, great friends and the most amazing husband in the world. He is my rock. The problem was I have always been incredibly shy – a debilitating kind of shy that held me back in every area of my life. I struggled with not wanting to be seen or heard and that affected my relationships in a big way. I was difficult to get to know to say the least. I am also a love bug. I am in love with love. As you can imagine, this created daily conflict for me, because I wanted to show the world my true personality and my big heart, but I was terrified that someone would notice me or that I would actually have to speak out loud. I spent my whole life thinking there was something wrong with me; that I was a freak. I couldn’t show anyone the “real” me, including my family and friends. I was stuck in a shrinking pattern – in my old story that I was too shy and this part of me would never change.
Through Strategic Intervention coaching, I was able to let go of that old story and remove the label of “too shy”. I’ve come to appreciate and love who I am, and from that place, there is nothing I can’t do. I no longer fear creating and developing quality relationships. I learned to trust, to communicate effectively, listen with compassion and speak in a way that is heard. I want that for everyone.
I invite you to take a look at what labels have defined you, what Limiting Beliefs you carry with you, and then decide if you still want them. If not, now is the time to consider letting them go. Like me, you may not realize you have the power within you to choose.
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With much love and anticipation, I wanted to share a few pictures of my new office, or as I like to call it "Where the magic happens".
A question I hear all the time is “Are you going to make me cluck like a chicken?”. Probably not, unless that’s what you need to do in order to heal.
This question of course, stems from stage hypnotism or television which is the only form of hypnosis most people have experience with.
I find stage hypnosis highly entertaining, however, I do want to make that point clear. A stage hypnotist’s goal is to ENTERTAIN you. That’s what they are paid to do, and they are incredibly skil...led in their craft. I’ve spent many an evening at a pub or at the stampede grounds laughing my butt off at the show. It’s fun and it’s meant to make you laugh, though they do include positive suggestions for the brave souls willing to get up on the stage.
Unfortunately, that form of hypnosis can make people fear hypnotherapy. They think they will lose control and be forced to do something they don’t want to do. That is simply not the case. You will be aware and in control throughout a hypnotherapy session. You will bypass your critical conscious mind (the gatekeeper) to access your subconscious mind. That's how we will get to the root of your problem, and that is where the magic happens!
Hypnotherapy is empowering. It puts your power back in your hands. It’s life-changing, not simply "for entertainment purposes only".
So, go ahead and enjoy the show, and when you’re ready for massive change contact a hypnotherapist. Better yet, contact an RTT therapist!
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I was speaking with someone today about being open-minded enough to see our own flaws. Her take is that not many people are willing to do it because we’re worried we won’t like what we see. We will seem, well - flawed - and then possibly judged. I believe dissecting the good, the bad and the ugly is a wonderful thing and here’s why: When we are open to seeing who we really are – flaws and all – it brings to us a conscious awareness of all the parts of ourselves. We no longer ...need to blindly accept our past beliefs, feelings or emotions. We have a choice.
As soon as we are consciously aware of something, we have a key we didn’t have before. We have the choice to change the behaviour. We gain control. Think of it this way - once you notice a behaviour you don’t like, does it ever have the same effect on you that it did before? I don’t think so, because at the point of awareness, it's not hidden from you anymore. It's out there and you can decide to accept it or learn how to change it.
What's something you’d like to notice and change? Maybe it’s the inner chatter in your own head. Most of us speak very harshly to ourselves. Notice how you speak to yourself for a week, and decide if that’s something you would like to change.
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“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” Nelson Mandela
I had an experience recently that triggered an old feeling in me – the feeling of being an outcast. It was not a good feeling but after I sat with it for a bit (aka wallowed in it), I realized the importance of being able to understand and support the socially awkward person in your life. Now, I’m not a fan of the term “socially awkward”, so I’m going to change it to “Completely Awesome” for the rest of this post. Here is a brief list of DO’s and DON’Ts:
DO: Be encouraging. E...ncourage the Completely Awesome person in your life to take risks and try something new. Find out what lights them up and encourage them to do more of that. BUT …
DON’T: Push too hard. Completely Awesome wants desperately to do something “outside the box” but overwhelming fears are holding them back. Fighting these fears will not help, and pushing will likely have the opposite effect. Sometimes a push from a friend has the emotional intensity of being pushed off a cliff (even if what you’re asking them to do is not a big deal to you). Which takes me to my next “do” …
DO: Know that IT IS A BIG DEAL. Meeting new people may be easy for you and that’s wonderful. For Completely Awesome, even the simple words “Come inside and meet my parents/sister/boyfriend” can cause anxiety to flare up in a big way. Ease them in gently whenever possible. I cannot speak for everyone, but I did not do “Impromptu” very well. NOT WELL AT ALL. :) I can laugh about it now, but at the time – wow!
DON’T: Ask “what’s wrong with you?” I can promise you they have asked themselves that question for years. Hearing it from you hurts in ways you can’t imagine. Also in this category are “Don’t be shy”, “You’ll grow out of it” and “You’re just faking it”. These are the things well-meaning people say to snap us out of being Completely Awesome. It doesn’t work and actually makes us feel like a freak. (I particularly like the change to “Completely Awesome” in this paragraph. How completely awesome does that sound?!)
DO: Tell them they are enough. This is simple yet powerful. Completely Awesome is fighting an inner critic who tells them constantly that they will never measure up. You can help by reminding them that they are enough exactly as they are. Marisa Peer gets people to write “I am enough” on their mirrors and to repeat that phrase throughout the day to themselves. They are the words that stopped me from wallowing in my old stuff after my recent outcast experience.
DON’T: Give up on them. They may pretend to be grouchy – they are scared. They may act aloof – they care deeply. These are defense mechanisms they’ve taken on to protect themselves.
DO: Focus on their strengths and encourage them to do the same. Cheer them on and encourage them to do the same.
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